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  Aryn snorted and Karla held in a giggle. Leave it to Sonica to be dramatic.

  “How can I ever trust you when you didn’t tell me? He went to you and asked, but you didn’t tell me. Didn’t you ever consider that I might want to know that my husband was creeping around offering sperm to people in exchange for a baby?”

  Karla shuddered at the vulgar description of something precious to a lot of people. “Channyon, really.” She bit her lip. Perfectionist. The accusation rang around in her head. Channyon was allowed her feelings, even if they didn’t match with everyone else.

  “I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed, okay? I also kind of assumed you knew, since you and Becker were always together. I didn’t tell you because you’ve been protective of Aryn and I for years and all of a sudden I was being asked to help you and I couldn’t say yes. I just couldn’t. Do you know how hard that was? You’ve done everything for us. You’ve given up jobs, bought houses, worked until you literally collapsed with fatigue to make sure we were all together… And I couldn’t help you.”

  “Thank God you didn’t,” Aryn answered. “Can you imagine this conversation if you had?”

  All four sisters glanced at each other around the circle. Becker might have asked in desperation. But his desperate question had torn through each one of them in different ways.

  Sonica choked out a sob. “He thought that the baby would be more closely related to you if one of your sisters carried it. He wanted you to always feel like the child’s mother because he knew you wanted a child as much as he did.”

  “No. That’s a lie. He wanted a child so badly that he tossed my feelings aside. I never would’ve done that to him.” Her voice cracked.

  Karla held her breath. Channyon hadn’t cried since she’d arrived, and even before that, tears were rare. She was a leader, not someone who allowed herself to be supported by others.

  Shiny tears gathered in Channyon’s eyes but would not fall, catching in the glow of the distant streetlights. “I loved him.”

  Aryn reached out and took Channyon’s hand. “We know that much. The question is… Do you still?”

  Channyon sat in the dark and let that thought wander through her whole being. Did she still love him? What was love, really? Was it a buttery feeling or commitment? Was it life as usual or was it something more? Had she ever really known? If someone had asked her in the moment before she stood with Becker to be married if she loved him, she would’ve answered absolutely yes. So, how could she know without question just five years ago, and not know now?

  “I can’t answer that. There’s too much in between.” Too much said and unsaid. Too many sticky situations. Too many things had crossed a line she’d never thought she’d have to draw.

  “Could you start over?” Karla offered. At least she wasn’t trying to act as if she knew everything about relationships anymore.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to.”

  Though she knew there would never be another Becker. No one would be the right to her left like he was, and no other relationship even sounded possible. Despite what she’d said to jar her sisters, she still hadn’t really considered divorce.

  “Sawyer said Becker was coming at some point. Could you give him a day or two? Then, force yourself to have the conversation you would tell all of us to have before you finally decide.”

  Karla tapped her fingers on her chair. “You’re absolutely right, though. There’s too much between you and not between you. You told me you were perfect for each other, yet infertility is something that many couples face. It seems both of you missed something that should’ve happened. After what Sonica said, I can understand his reasoning a little better, but I still think he should’ve gone to you first.”

  That was one of the things that had hurt the most in the moment. There was no way he could’ve thought a surprise like that would be a good thing. A pregnancy wasn’t a birthday present in any way. Especially if it was your sister’s pregnancy with your husband’s baby. So, he couldn’t have thought he would surprise her. He had to have kept it secret for another reason.

  “I can’t see any valid reason why he would go to you without coming to me first.”

  “He did,” Aryn whispered so quietly it almost sounded like the breeze off the water.

  “Excuse me?” If he’d come and asked her about taking on a surrogate, she’d remember.

  “He may not have brought it up in the context of Sonica, but he did bring up other options. He talked about adoption and even entertaining the idea of a surrogate. I remember that much.” She shrugged. “Maybe you were so hurt by the whole thing that you’ve blocked out memories. It happens. But he did talk to you about options and he didn’t hide it from any of us. We were all so close, he felt like we were family.”

  No wonder they held on to him. With the exception of Karla—which made no sense at all—her sisters thought of Becker like a brother. And as their brother-in-law, that made sense. But try as she might, she couldn’t bring forward any memory of Becker talking to all of them.

  Channyon rested her forehead in her hands to gather all her messy thoughts. Talking to Becker again would mean that she would have to actually seek out what had happened and try to fix it. She would have to accept his words as truth, but not at the expense of her own. Where they conflicted was the main issue.

  Would he listen to her side? He was a lawyer, that was his job. And he’d listened to her in the past up until the point she’d told him she didn’t want to talk about pregnancy anymore.

  “Oh, no.” She felt physically ill, like she would be sick right there on the beach.

  “What?” Karla slipped off her chair and kneeled in the sand next to her. “What is it?”

  “It’s so stupid. I feel so stupid.” How could she have missed it? “I told him I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. So he quit talking about it. With me. That didn’t mean the subject was closed in his mind.”

  “It would with anyone else, but you’re right, not with Becker.” Aryn sighed heavily. “He always looks for a loophole. Though I don’t think he was intentionally trying to go behind your back. I think he was truly trying to listen to you and fulfill his own desires for a child.”

  “And now we’re both stuck. Without each other or a child.” Channyon gripped her stomach. All this pain. Over a few words said in exasperation.

  “But this can be fixed.” Sonica finally spoke up. “It absolutely can.”

  Could it? Because Karla was right about one thing, Channyon hated changing her course even when the water looked choppy, if the other way looked even choppier. Could she admit she understood him and even…forgive him? He’d still done the unthinkable, but maybe his motive wasn’t as bad as she had thought.

  “Channyon, this will eat at you for the rest of your life if you don’t sort this out with him. You can’t divorce a man because of one misunderstanding.” Karla’s voice was soft, but her words hit like arrows to Channyon’s wounded heart.

  “I know.” How could she have been so stupid? She knew how much of a literal thinker Becker was. She knew if she asked him anything, he would give it to her within reason. Yet, he was no genie in a lamp, and she couldn’t trick him out of extra wishes, even if she wanted to. She couldn’t make him be someone he wasn’t.

  Even after years of marriage, she still didn’t get all of his quirks. But she’d let her own drive a wide wedge between them. “I wish I knew when he was coming back. I don’t know if we’ll ever truly be husband and wife again, because this is so hard, but I’m ready to listen to him.”

  Karla patted her arm and went back to her chair. “No one is asking you to pretend nothing happened. It did. Even if he thought this was a good way of following your wishes, he still went over the line. He needs to know and understand that.”

  “And I don’t think he really came back to win you over.” Sonica took a deep breath like speaking had taken a lot out of her. “Forgive me for saying it, but he has feelings too and Ch
annyon’s abandonment trampled them. He’s even older than Channyon and he was worried that there wouldn’t be time to have a family. When Channyon left without even talking to him, he was pretty hurt too.”

  Channyon couldn’t breathe. “You’re still talking to him? To my husband?” After all this confusion, how could she?

  “Yes, I do. I have the whole time. If I’d wanted to give away where we were, I could have from the very start. But I didn’t. I asked him about lawyer friends in our area. He could’ve narrowed it down, but it wasn’t until Karla talked to Jake, her lawyer, that she gave away our exact address. I’m glad you’ve come around and noticed that you had a part in this too, because it wasn’t all him.”

  Channyon stood and walked down the beach a little ways, just far enough where she didn’t feel like her sisters were right at her back. All their lives, these little meetings had offered breakthroughs. She hadn’t expected the breakthrough to come from her. She’d expected Sonica to admit fault or Aryn to accuse her of who knew what, but to come to a realization that she and her perception of what happened were faulty? That was unexpected.

  No amount of imagination could help her figure out what to say when Becker returned. She could follow Karla’s recommendation and call him. But what had to be said really needed to be said in person. They’d had too many misunderstandings. Now was the time to sit eye-to-eye and understand what each other was thinking.

  If they couldn’t figure things out, then at least she’d tried. But Aryn was right, running away again would’ve been the worst thing. It had already made the situation even worse. If she’d confronted Becker right away, what could’ve been an argument had turned into a breakup event. Possibly divorce.

  And that piece was completely on her. Now she could see how Becker talked about framing a court case around what was known and what was not. Someone could be guilty but, depending on how the evidence was presented, could look innocent, and vice versa.

  She heard her sisters put the chairs back where they belonged. Their voices didn’t carry enough to hear what they were talking about, but she heard them go up the bank and cross the street. Now she was alone. No one there to influence her thoughts or her decisions.

  Unfortunately, that didn’t make them any easier.

  She’d purchased a phone with one of her first paychecks at the pizza place. Though she hadn’t worked there in months, they still called, asking her to return. Karla had said she could support everyone, but Karla was also stressed again.

  She pushed the number for the pizza place. This wasn’t cutting ties as much as it was Channyon trying to forge her own way. If she was going to listen to Becker, and if she eventually forgave him and decided to return with him, then her sisters had to learn how to manage without her.

  Even if she didn’t go with Becker, life called outside of North Carolina. Maybe she was meant to wander?

  “Hey, Marvin. This is Channyon. Busy?”

  Marvin laughed. “It’s hopping as usual. Want to pick up a shift tomorrow?” He laughed nervously again.

  “Sure. I wouldn’t want to forget how to sling a pizza.”

  He went silent for a moment. “Really? How long can you stay?”

  She took a deep breath and listened to her thoughts for a moment. No answer pulled her in one direction or another. “Let’s just take this day by day. I’ll be there to help you and when I have to leave, I promise I’ll give you warning.”

  “Bless you, Channyon. You know how hard it is to keep people working. I had three delivery drivers just not show up last week.”

  Channyon hated that he insisted on hiring kids. Highschool kids. They were great, they just weren’t dependable. “Maybe you should hire people who are older for delivery?”

  “I’ll consider it. I know you can’t with that old truck of yours. Is Arney coming too?”

  Despite the name Aaron being very easy to say, because of the spelling of Aryn’s name, he’d always called her Arney, no matter how often Aryn corrected him.

  “No. Just me. Is that all right?” She’d often wondered if he only wanted her back because he’d gotten two good workers out of the deal.

  “That is more than all right. That is just fine. See you tomorrow.”

  Now to break it to Karla that she wouldn’t be helping with the inn anymore.

  Chapter Four

  The computer screen glared back at Karla as she scribbled a few notes in the margin of her notebook. There just wasn’t enough money in her account. Not with Maisy and Davin needing new clothes for school. Not with food prices going up. And she couldn’t rely on Sawyer to come to her rescue yet again.

  This task, she’d handle on her own.

  “I need a car.”

  “What do you need it for?” Sawyer rested his hands on her shoulders.

  She loved the feeling of warmth he always gave her when he just reached out and touched her. “Who let you in?” she teased.

  “Davin. He was on the way out and waved as he swung the door wide. I took that as an invitation. Forgive me for looking over your shoulder, but I think you’ll have trouble buying a car with that and I don’t think a dealership is going to finance you with such a short-term job. Why don’t you use mine?”

  “Yours?” He did have a truck and a car. But she hated that he’d solved her problems yet again and in less than the blink of an eye. “I’d like to solve this puzzle on my own. You don’t have to rescue me all the time.”

  He looked hurt for just a moment then dropped his hands from her shoulders. “I understand. I was only offering because it didn’t look possible and I know you’re doing a lot for your family.”

  She turned in her chair to actually face him and rested her arms on the back. “I overestimated how much money I would have by this time with the rental money from the Tidewater. Food cost me more than I thought, even with Maisy and Davin gone the last few months.

  I may have started offering ‘dinner in a dish’ service. You know those tins you can get at the grocery, the one-use baking dishes? I whip something together for the families who stay and they love it. I just asked them to leave a tip on the table for the meals, since I wasn’t sure how to add it to my web page, especially with all the choices I had in mind.”

  “And it wasn’t enough,” Sawyer filled in.

  She felt like a child admitting to stealing from the cookie jar. Sawyer had helped her so much. She’d been able to pay back his loan as soon as she’d started booking for whole weeks, instead of only weekends. But she still hadn’t planned to run so short. “There are other things too.”

  Like Rob calling and telling her that his car broke down and he didn’t have money for groceries for the kids. When she’d been low on cash—his doing—he never would’ve helped her. He would’ve offered to take the kids before he’d offer to send her money.

  But she wasn’t Rob and her kids had to eat. So, she’d swallowed her pride and sent him the money. Even though she and Sawyer weren’t in any sort of committed relationship, she still felt bad for not telling him. Sawyer might not understand why, and she didn’t want to talk about Rob with Sawyer anymore.

  “What can I do?” Sawyer stood back and leaned against the wall. “You know I’m always willing to help you.”

  “I do know that. And I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you’re a willing safety net. But I got married young and never had to manage anything but the house and bills. And the bills were already done for me, I just had to write out the checks.” Karla sighed.

  There were many things she would change if she could go back. One of them would be letting Rob handle their entire lives outside of the children. Another was having everything in his name.

  When he’d left, the only thing she’d had with her name on it was a debit card linked to his account. Even though she’d had savings in it from things she’d sold or made, he’d taken the money from the account, then made her look like a thief to the bank. She’d had to switch banks once she had money because her
old account was still overdrawn.

  She would insist he take care of that in the divorce because it would affect her in the future. At some point, she would need credit and an overdrawn bank account just sitting there would be a red flag.

  “I guess you’re right. Borrowing your car until I can get this all managed will be the easiest way.” Why did accepting help feel like defeat sometimes?

  “I’ll drive it over tomorrow and you can take me back home. You can see my house for a change.” He laughed.

  She’d never had a reason to go to his place until then. Even now, the idea of going there felt oddly taboo, as if it were wrong. “I don’t have to go inside if you don’t want me to.”

  He shrugged. “It’s clean and there’s nothing in there I’m hiding. I have a nice back yard, but I’m not there much. I doubt you’ll think much of it.”

  Maybe not, but it would be a big step. He’d gotten used to visiting her when he’d helped get the Tidewater Inn ready to open. He’d managed to stay in her life by helping with various other projects. Now, he was expected at least once a week for supper and he helped with the kids when they were around.

  “Does Davin want to go shoot some hoops?”

  Her son had been moody since returning from Rob’s. She’d expected that behavior from Maisy, not her son. Maisy seemed to have gotten over her anger while she’d been gone for months.

  “You could ask him. He went to the beach for a minute to see if his friends were there, then he told me he was headed around the house to sit on the porch. He’s pouting because he can’t play some game on his phone all day long.” Summer wasn’t meant to be wasted playing video games and there were only a few days left.

  “I’ll go ask him. And remember that you still have me and your sisters. If there isn’t enough work in the inn, they can find temporary jobs too. Everyone can pitch in. It doesn’t have to just be you. Sometimes I think you have just as much of a tendency to rescue people as I do.”